The Immortal's Revenge (Hidan VS Shikamaru Re-Match)
by Miss Crossbow
Summary: My view of their re-match, tried to make it funny. :)


Putting the scythe on his back, he walked through the forest. He was happy, angered, and excited, all at the same time. He has never felt like that before, seriously...Bah, screw it! The only thing on his mind is that pineapple-headed bastard. Oh yeah, he's gonna pay for what he's done, he's gonna pay GOOD!

The silver-haired man walked through the woods, imagining his revenge. First, he's gonna get the kid's blood. Then, he's gonna toy with him. Stab him in every single piece of his body. It's gonna be the most thrilling Ritual in the history of Rituals! Jashin yeah!

But first, our hero needed to get out of the forest. That was the boring part. He groaned. Suddenly, he heard some steps behind him. He turned around, and saw a herd of deer staring at him. They were ready to charge. The silver-haired man felt a slight chill down his spine, and he gulped.

'Nice little deer! You're not gonna hurt Hidan-san, are you? Hidan-san's your friend, ehehehe!' the immortal exclaimed, laughing nervously. But the deer weren't going to obey were moving forward.

'O-Oi, why don't you forget that Shika freak and just lemme through?' Hidan tried to sound nice and sweet.

But alas! The whole herd was after him at once. A little bit scared, the immortal turned around and started running. 'A little bit scared' soon turned into 'FUCKING SHIT MY PANTS!'. He got out of the forest, but the deer were still on his tail. Hidan tried attacking some of them with his scythe, but the deer appeared to be very skilled in dodging, almost like shinobi. The immortal was thinking of climbing a tree, but, he can't waste time, he has to find bastard pineapple and sacrifice him! So he continued running towards Konoha (at least he hoped so). As far as he remembered, it was right through the forest. Yeah, it shouldn't be far away. Thus, those shitheads that are chasing him will probably give up, they can't run forever, jashindammit!

A few hours later, he was still running through the forest towards Konoha, and the deer were still chasing him. Not single one of them stopped and gave up. He was greatly exhausted and was panting loudly. But he has to move forward! HE. FUCKING. HAS TO! Determined, he kept running. He finally reached the Konoha gate after 30 minutes. Knowing they'll throw him into jail if they see him in his Akatsuki cloak, he decided to do a Transformation Jutsu. So it was; he transformed into an Iwa shinobi, and soon, he ran through the gate of the Hidden Leaf Village.

'Hey, you!' one of the guards on the gate, called Kotetsu, screamed after him. But Hidan, or rather, the Iwa shinobi, just kept running. The herd snicked into the village right after him. They started attacking the villagers and ruining bars and stands, making a complete disaster. But our hero didn't care; he was hunting for Shika.

'Where could that stupid pineapple-headed ba-' his sentence was cut off because someone got into his face. Actually, the guy's mouth was...ON HIS!

The immortal choose to calm down, and just when he tried to back away, he saw that the guy he ran into was...nobody but Nara Shikamaru himself! Hidan was in shock. He lost control of his transformation, so he turned back to his original self. Him and Shikamaru were staring at each other's eyes for a few seconds, then their lips finally separated and they both coughed and 'vomited' in disgust.

'Y-You! What are YOU doing here?!' the boy asked the immortal man, holding his throat.

'I'm here to kill you, pineapple!' Hidan coughed back.

'Revenge, huh? What a drag...' Shikamaru lazily mumbled.

'You're calling my revenge a fucking drag, huh?! I'll make you regret it, bitch!' Hidan threw away his scythe, pulled Shikamaru towards him and slapped him hard. Then he gripped his neck and tried to choke him. They both fell to the ground. The boy got rid off our hero's grip and punched him in the face. Hidan returned the favor. They were rolling from side to side, punching and slapping each other. Hidan got annoyed with doing that, so he reached the scythe. In that moment, Shikamaru got off him, pulled out a kunai, and they clashed, completely ignorant to the chaos that was around them.

Their weapons clang into each other. None of them could outrun the other, but they weren't gonna give up. They clashed and clashed, it seemed for hours to them. Then, the two bitter rivals finally decided to retreat and give each other some time to rest and think of a strategy.

The immortal hid behind a house, whilst the boy choose a near rooftop. Hidan was thinking; pineapple is smart, he'll soon try to catch him with some of his traps or shit. He has to be sharp-eyed and quick. But also, he needs a plan...

'Hm...' the silver-haired man looked around himself. He saw a well near the house he was behind. He gave it some more thought.

'Well, I don't have any better idea...I hope it's worth the trying...' he finally resolved, staring at the well.

Hidan stepped out of his 'hideout', Shikamaru did the same. The boy had a smile on his face. The immortal made one too.

'I wasn't expecting you to get out of the hole...How did you do it?' Shikamaru questioned.

'Heh, that doesn't fucking matter, pineapple! You should focus on the battle!' Hidan didn't want to reveal how he returned. He'll keep it for himself.

'Hmph, fine' the boy lazily mumbled and made a hand sign. His shadow extended and was going right after the immortal. But Hidan was prepared this time. He dodged the shadow, jumped forward and threw his scythe at Shikamaru, forcing him to release the jutsu and dodge his weapon. Landing and with the scythe in his hand again, Hidan found a paper bomb and a kunai Shikamaru dropped earlier on the ground. The silver-haired man attached the paper bomb to the kunai and threw it at the well he saw. The bomb blew it up, leaving it a bare hole.

'What the hell is he doing?!' Shikamaru thought. Hidan was in front of him again, so he didn't have time to give it much thought. The boy never expected that idiot to be so powerful to deal with. He's changed from their last meeting, it was for sure. A kunai in Shikamaru's hand, a scythe in Hidan's; Cling-Cleng-Clang! But Hidan had a plan; he was gonna lure the pineapple-head in that hole and...Return the favor!

'JASHIN YEAH!' the immortal was 'controlling' his rival's moves with his scythe attacks. Shikamaru wasn't aware there was a hole behind him. One last hit, one last kick...And...Shikamaru was down! He splashed into the water at the bottom of the well.

'What the-?' he couldn't pull himself together for a few seconds. He raised his gaze and saw Hidan.

'You bastard! How did you-? Let me out of here!' the boy got up. The immortal was smiling, then he started laughing very loudly.

'BWAHAHAHA! Well, I didn't sacrifice you in the end, but this is just as good! BWAHAHAHA!' he exclaimed, his voice echoing through the well. Shikamaru was angry. How could he let himself been beaten by such and idiot?!

Hidan heard footsteps behind himself. It was a few ANBU, ready to attack him. He took them on and easily killed them with his scythe. He took a sword from one of them, and a paper bomb from the other, and got back to the well again. He looked down. Man, it sure was deep. There's no way pineapple can get outta there. No way! ... Perfect!

Hidan grinned while placing the bomb on the blade.

'H-Hey, what are you-?'

'I'm taking my revenge, pineapple...After weeks spent in that hole, I'll finally get my revenge'

The sword was ready.

'So long...BASTARD!' the silver-haired man threw the sword, and the blade got into the wall of the well. And it exploded. Rocks fell down, over Shikamaru, covering him completely.

Feeling satisfied inside, and finally at peace, our hero walked slowly through the chaos Konoha was in. Deer everywhere, villagers running from them, and shinobi trying to chase them down.

'Hmph, what fucking ever...'


End file.
